It’s been almost three weeks since my final chemo treatment. It’s been too long since my last post too. Things have gotten a bit crazy since then. First off, saying goodbye to chemo was great! I got to ring the bell at the infusion center for completing my treatment and all the nurses signed a certificate commemorating my journey. I have since then been trying to hold on to that happiness. The neuropathy is progressing and I am doing my best to cope with this side effect. I’m also tired all of the time. It’s a tired that I can’t explain. I can basically fall asleep whenever and wherever in a matter of seconds. This can be very disruptive when it comes to my normal daily activities. Which brings me to the next thing that has occurred. I am not working. My doctor put me out of work for the next 8 weeks. She felt this was in my best interest given the side effects I’m experiencing and how I’ve been dealing with the stress of working through Chemotherapy. She said that my side effects will continue to add up for the few weeks that follow my last treatment before they start to get better. And then I will begin radiation for 6 weeks with treatment everyday. This will also add to the fatigue which will build up throughout treatment and last a few weeks after treatment ends just like chemo. Fun times ahead!
I have been to so many appointments over the last couple weeks! I had my radiation consult, a CT scan, tattoos for radiation, and surgery to have my port removed! I still have to have an MRI, 1 month follow up with my oncologist and a follow up with my breast surgeon as it has been 6 months since my lumpectomy! 6 months!?!?!?!? That is crazy! I can’t believe it. So many things to be thankful for.

And just when I thought things might be going smoothly and I was on the road to recovery, I received a letter in the mail from the state. They only approved my leave for 4 weeks instead of the full amount requested due to my doctors orders. I am beside myself right now. But doing my best to not let it send me over the edge with worry. I will be calling work and trying to figure out what is going on and why. The letter stated I need to be evaluated by a state medical board doctor. Really???? You mean to tell me that a doctor from the state medical board is more qualified then my oncologist to give an opinion on my health?

Sidenote: I called work and was told that the meeting with the state medical director is to determine whether or not I will be in fact coming back to work. This doesn’t make any sense as I already gave them my doctors letter and such that says I will be back.

Round 7 brought on the neuropathy. Something I wasn’t prepared for. For those that don’t know, this is the numbness and tingling in your toes and/or fingers. So far this has all been in my toes and soles of my feet. It’s like my toes are falling asleep. Then I get shooting pains from feet up through my legs. It happens randomly throughout the day but seems to get worse at night.

So last week I ended up calling the dr because my cough got worse. I got put on antibiotics. Then I called this past Monday because of the neuropathy and they called in another med for that an currently have me out of work through this Monday when I see the dr again. At that time she will evaluate me to see 1. If I’m going to proceed with treatment as scheduled 2. If not, when I will have my last treatment and 3. When I’m going back to work. Which should be Tuesday as of now.

They warned me that things like this could happen. Chemo is cumulative so it builds up in your system, causing the problems to rear their head at the end stages of treatment. At this point I don’t know what the next few weeks will bring. But I have to stop worrying about everything, especially work. I just need to focus on me and my recovery. For the first time in my life I need to be selfish. And it’s ok to be that way!

In other news, house is progressing. Kitchen cabinets are all done. Plumbing inspection this week and then on to the bathrooms. Woohoo! And of course, looking forward to the Championship games tomorrow. GO RAVENS!!!!!!

Where oh where should I begin????? Ok, so round 6 was on Christmas Eve. Everything went well. I had the best nap at treatment thanks to the Benadryl. Christmas Day we went to my parents. We had dinner and did presents with Heather and James. James got to play Santa and pass out the gifts. It was all in all a great Christmas. A few days later, the side effects of round 6 started to emerge. In addition to the aching restless leg type pains I was anticipating, I also had incredibly painful knee and hip joint pain. I felt like I aged 60 years over night and developed arthritis! It was ridiculous! So I called my doctors office and got, what’s that? Oh you guessed it. Yet another prescription to combat the side effects of chemo. I’m like a freaking walking pharmacy! Unreal! All kidding aside, I can honestly say that they work and get me through til the pain and side effects wain and I feel almost normal again.

The one side effect that there is no fix for is the hair loss. I was washing my face and noticed I had a couple of hairs on my hand when I wet my face. I knew they didn’t come from my head. Then it dawned on me. There goes your eyebrows and lashes chick. BUM-MER! So it’s been two weeks since treatment 6 and as of today I have a couple of little short bottom lashes, still a decent amount of top lashes but some gaps. I decided to stop wearing mascara since they are so fragile and it was doing more harm then good. After all, it was just making me feel like I looked better when I put makeup on. I do have fake ones that I may try out. But since I’m so close to the end I may just leave them alone so that in a few weeks they will start growing back. As for my eyebrows, they were pretty thin to begin with so its not like they are easy to draw back on using makeup. In the corners were they are thicker, or should be, I can fill those in a bit more. The hard part is that they are pretty light so finding makeup to match them is a bit tricky. But we’ll see. Good news is my wigs all have bangs so I can just wear them to cover up my forehead and not look like an alien!!!

New Years Eve I came down with this nasty sinus cold that everyone seems to be acquiring. On Wednesday I called the doctors office to see what I could take and if I should be getting a prescription. I went in to see her and she said since I had no fever and judging by my symptoms it was most likely viral. Said to ride it out with mucinex etc. So I have been doing just that.

Today is probably the best I have felt in days. Which brings me to Round 7. Say what?!?!? Holy hell, round 7. I’m literally rounding third base and on the home stretch. I was totally scared I was going to see the doctor today and they would say sorry no treatment because you are still sick. At least I did for a bit. But when I got to the infusion center today for my blood draw, the nurse said that they had a patient earlier who had pretty much had the same cold and her doctor signed off on her treatment. Then I thought about it. This is Dr Tweed we are talking about! As long as my labs come back and they are good, she’s going to say lets do this! And I was totally right! My labs came back and they were great! Slightly better then last time. She was really excited about how well I’m doing and have done throughout Chemo. I can not say enough about her. Truly blessed to have her on my team. My only setback today was that they cornered me off so I was a bit further away from the other patients. And I was asked to not have any visitors for today. It ended up being ok because once again, Benadryl kicked in and this little lady slept! Once again, no issues during my infusion time. Just got home a little bit ago and will probably rest a little more. My only directions from my doc are to watch my cough and congestion. Since I am now hacking stuff up, she informed me that if it gets any worse to call and she’ll put me on antibiotics. Sometimes viral colds will turn bacterial in the form of bronchitis so I should be aware of that. Otherwise, looking good!

For all you followers of our house progress, we had electrical inspections last week, floor tile on first floor installed, and half the kitchen cabinets! Things are moving along now! Super exciting! Looks like the completed project will fall right in line with completing Chemo! Couldn’t be happier. Pictures to follow!

Monday was my 5th round of Chemo and my first round of Taxol.  This marked the halfway point and the time where we switch my Chemo drug.  Taxol, while still very serious, does not come with the digestive side effects that Adriamyacin and Cytoxin have.  For that I am thankful.  But the side effects of Taxol are pretty scary.  Neuropathy is the numbness and tingling in your fingers and toes.  This may occur and could be only temporary, however, it can also cause permanent nerve damage.  The goal obviously is for this not to happen.  There is also serious bone pain, as with the nuelasta shot, feels flu-like and achy all over.  You also get pain in your abdomen which feels like the worst menstrual cramps EVER!!  Sorry guys, I  know you might not be able to comprehend that one.  Let’s just say it feels like little gut punches every few seconds for, oh I don’t know, say HOURS!!!!! 

Treatment day is the same.  Go to infusion center, have blood drawn through Port, go see doctor, doctor gets labs, gives ok for treatment, go back to infusion center for treatment.  My pre-meds are pretty much the same as well.  I get anti-nausea meds, steroids etc and now I get a HEAVY dose of Benadryl.  This is because Taxol can cause a severe allergic reaction.  Taxol takes 3 hours via IV to administer.  When I got the Benadryl I told my mom and Chris that I suddenly felt exhausted.  Now I know why the nurses told me most people sleep during Taxol treatment.  I will most definitely take their advice next time!  All in all it wasn’t that bad, and so far I’ve just been experiencing slight side effects, nothing to serious, except for feeling very very tired all of the time.  I feel like I could sleep for a week.  Last night though, I woke up several times.  It felt like I was cramping up all over, like I couldn’t quite stretch my legs enough.  Then this morning I woke up and had the abdominal cramping.  I took Aleve once I got to work and it seems to be getting better.

Another thing that happened on treatment day  ******WARNING WARNING THIS COULD POSSIBLY BE TMI FOR MY MALE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!************I started spotting.  At first I thought it might just be because I finished the AC treatment and had moved on to Taxol.  Then I realized that is normally when I would be due.  See I haven’t had a monthly cycle since starting Chemo, and really didn’t expect to have one again til I was done.  Well it turned out to be four days of a normal cycle.  So I will be talking to my Dr. next Friday about what this means if anything.  If it is because of the Taxol or if it is any indication of my body trying to fight to be normal.

Night sweats and hot flashes have been very minimal.  Which is fine by me.  I mean seriously, who the hell wants to go through menopause not once, but TWICE in their life????  Not this lady!  Next treatment (Round 6) is Christmas Eve.  I’ll be sure to sleep that day and get some rest so I’ll be good to go for Christmas Day. 

SIDENOTES:  I’ve been having mixed emotions about Christmas and the holidays as well.  First off, I’m broke so christmas automatically looses it’s fun.  This is mostly due to the fact that we finally closed on our house at the end of October and began the renovations.  I don’t mind being broke because in a couple of weeks we will finally be in our new house.  Which I can not wait for.  But I love Christmas and gift giving.  I know people will understand.  Things happen and we have these cycles we go through where one year you can buy so much stuff, then the next it’s limited or non-existent, and then repeat.  It happens.  I guess I wanted this year to be different given this pesky cancer crap.  I mean, we don’t have a tree either because we are in between moving etc.  It just doesn’t feel like Christmas.  Then I think about my brother and the fact that he is spending Christmas in Afghanistan away from his wife and son and the rest of us.  Then I shut up, because I shouldn’t be complaining at all.  It’s not about gifts and money, it’s about love and friendship.  Spending time with those who matter in your life.  Even though things might seem down, count your blessings.  I’m sure you will find, as I did, that they are many.  So from me to you, all my faithful readers, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!  (just in case you don’t hear from me until after Christmas)  I hope you all get to spend time with your loved ones over the next few weeks.  And for my locals, I hope to see some of you as well.  Love to all!

Monday turned into the day from hell.  I came home from work early because I just didn’t feel well.  I was beyond exhausted.  After a few hours of trying to sleep I began to feel nauseated.  That quickly turned into me throwing up before I could take any meds.  So I took my temperature because I just didn’t feel right.  This had never happened after any of my treatments.  And wouldn’t you know it, the dreaded numbers I have been trying to avoid show up on the thermometer, 100.4.  I called the doctor and they told me to go to the ER so I could have labs done to check on my blood cell counts.  I managed to get sick on the way to the hospital in a parking lot, again in the waiting room bathroom, and then once more as the doctor was talking to me once they took me back and got me in a bed.

After a dose of phenergen and zofran, I was in sleepy land.  My labs came back fine and they were guessing I got a virus.  I had my flu shot before I started chemo in hopes this would not happen.  So they sent me on my way with a prescription for Zofran.  After the vomiting stopped I was fortunate to get some sleep, before I spent the next day in the bathroom. Oh joy.  So it appears to be either contaminated food I ate or a 24 hour bug. Either way, this is not what I wanted to deal with.  Not only am I past the point of exhaustion, my digestive system has been through the ringer with the Chemo and now it hurts to eat or drink anything.  I can see the recovery from this isn’t going to be as easy as it normally would.  Guess I need to get over the thoughts of my usual bounce back.  Just not that simple these days.

Maybe I am trying to hard to be normal and do all of my normal daily activities.  I can barely make it 5 hours at work without feeling like I need to sleep.  Wondering if I should re-evaluate my working situation with my doctor.  Looks like we will be talking on Monday when I have my next treatment.  I think it would be helpful if I could find someone who has been through the same treatment regimen that I am on and find out how they handled it.  For now I will just try to get as much rest as possible and take it easy.

More to come after treatment #5 on Monday!

So I hit the halfway marker of chemo on Monday! What a wonderful feeling! And I will have to say the port was extremely helpful and made my treatment so easy. I think mostly I was against it because the thought of another surgery just made me so frustrated. Now part of me wishes I would have had it all along. Well at least it’s done now and hopefully I won’t have any issues from here on out.

This week was a good one. My treatment was moved to Monday due to the infusion center being closed for thanksgiving and Friday. I was concerned that this would throw my schedule off at work causing more time off, but I was actually able to work and get through the whole day Tuesday-Thursday. Mind you I was beyond tired when I would get home. But I made it. Not sure what the weekend will bring as it typically takes a few days after my nuelasta shot for my body to get the side effects. Today I am staying hopeful that they won’t be as bad. I’ve got lots to do this weekend! Birthday celebrations for some of the sweetest little girls I know, work as usual on our house, outings I would like to go to. I know I have to take it easy. But today I woke up and I cried hard, all because I long for a sense of normalcy in my life. It was probably long overdue and I know having heightened senses is another side effect to my never ending meds. But some days it is just so much to deal with. I know it will get better and that I’m halfway through chemo which is huge. I guess I should be holding on to that thought for now and stay positive.

Monday the 10th will be treatment number 5. It will be my first of 4 treatments if Taxol. Not really sure what to expect other then they give me a good dose of Benadryl as a pre med and the taxol takes 3 hours to administer via IV. I hope it’s not as harsh on my digestive system as the Adriamycin and Cytoxin were. That’s what they tell me anyway.

Looking through this post and past ones I realized I are the word Hope repeated. I understand why it’s so widely used in the cancer and breast cancer community. Some days, hope is all you have. So I will couple that with faith today and pray that the days ahead are a little easier then the ones I’ve put behind me.

This one will be brief as I just got home from surgery and I am ready for a nap. Everything went well. Surgery took about 45 minutes. I’m a bit sore but I guess that’s normal. Hoping by tomorrow I feel a bit better so I can enjoy thanksgiving. I was very apprehensive about surgery but I am truly glad I no longer have to be a human pin cushion. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. May you guys all count your many blessings and enjoy your time with loved ones. Next up, halfway point!