Well the time finally arrived. Back to work. I survived the first week! I guess that is promising. I know that I should be happy I have a job to go back to, which I am. But I just can not stop thinking about how much of life I am missing out on while at work in front of a computer all day. Am I the only one who felt this way after returning to work following a life changing event? I’m pretty sure I’m not. I would be curious to hear stories from others.

Knowing and experiencing first hand just how precious life is, I find it insane that we spend so much of our time working and not actually enjoying life. And now I feel trapped because I am the insurance holder for my family. I suppose I will just have to suck it up for now.

Well that is my rant for today. I’m feeling well and have also gone back to working out. Crofton Bootcamp is really making me feel the burn! I’m pretty out of shape, but just means I have no where to go but up! Looking forward to a healthier, leaner, happier, and grounded me for the summer. I’m REALLY looking forward to warmer weather and Maryland CRABS!!!!! Mmmmmm Mmmmmmm Mmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!! So good. My hair is growing back and pretty quickly too, so I’m told. I have eyebrows and eyelashes again, which is VERY exciting! lol

I have follow up appointments with my Radiation doc on May 17th and with my medical oncologists June 7th. We will also be meeting with our fertility doctor sometime in May to discuss our options moving forward and to run some tests to see how my reproductive system is functioning. WARNING: About to spew TMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have not had a menstrual cycle since December. However, I no longer have night sweats or hot flashes so that is super promising! Well at least I think it is. I mean, I guess it could mean I’ve gone through early menopause and things are no longer working. Wait, what???? None of that! ONLY POSITIVE THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, I tell you. Sometimes I need a swift kick in the pants! To which I can turn to many of my lovely friends to do. Good thing not a one of you is any where near me right now!! lol

So yes, remaining positive and hopeful that all is on the up swing! I will keep you posted ;o)

The past few weeks after treatment ended have been a whirl wind. A few days after my bell ringing festivities, my brother finally arrived in Maryland! No words to describe how awesome it was having him home with his family and being able to spend lots of time together. During this time, we had a big party to celebrate Justin returning from Afghanistan and me kicking Cancer’s a$$. It was hands down the best time I have had in FOREVER!!! So many faces I haven’t seen in a long time. So much love came together through family and friends to make that party a lasting memory. We truly are blessed to have such amazing people in our lives. Thank you to everyone that was there to celebrate with us, and giant hugs and much love to all those who helped with decorations, food, music and our venue! I truly love all of you more then you know.

We also had to wrap up the renovations on our house AND get all the final inspections complete, including having the appraiser come out to make sure all conditions of the loan had been met. By the grace of God we managed to get everything complete and can now breath a sigh of relief!!!!

And we went to Arizona and stayed with my cousin for a week to get away before my dreaded 😉 return to work. Arizona is one of the prettiest, breath taking states I have ever seen. And my husband and I are now contemplating a move there sometime in the next few years. Guess we will have to see what the future holds on that!

Boy, I’m not very good at keeping up with this. I always have the best intentions on posting, but something always keeps me from it. Not to mention we are coming to the end of our renovations on our house so we’ve been super busy. Boy is that exciting! Almost as exciting as coming to the end of treatment! I’m actually in the waiting room now at the hospital awaiting radiation, which will be #24, leaving only 6 more to go!!! It feels like so much time has past since my diagnosis. It has been just about 7 months. And what a world of difference in my life. Just as it was when Cameron left us, so it is now. I was forever changed by Cam touching our lives, and in ways, Cancer has done the same. I made some incredible relationships with my doctors, nurses and other staff members at the hospital. I’ve also made some other connections that appear to be setting me on that path I’ve spent so much time searching for. Always wanting to help others and give back in some way but never knowing exactly where to start. Since my last post, I’ve gone with Christalene to the Save the Coconuts – Coco Blanco fundraiser, where she henna tattooed my head for all to see. The video that Sugar Farm Productions so beautifully put together, has been viewed by so many people. Most recently, as in just this morning, I was contacted by the hospitals PR Office as they want to interview me because they heard my story from one of the wonderful nurses in the NICU. I told them I would be more then happy to tell my story and help the hospital in any way I could. I’ve spent so much of my time at AAMC over the last two years. They have done so much for me so I would be honored to give back however I can.

I will also be ending this treatment journey next Tuesday. It sounds funny to say that. So many emotions will come along with that day. Glad to be finished, but then I have to work extra hard to keep that worry out of my head. For some reason, when you are in treatment activley, you feel safe. Maybe because you are surrounded by hospital staff on a daily basis. Then this reality sets in that you are about to embark back into the real world and resume life, and try to be normal again. Wait….. What the heck is NORMAL??!!??

I guess next week I will start to find out. Oh boy……

UPDATE: apparently there is a glitch in the matrix. I posted this almost two weeks ago. Only to log on and find out it was in my drafts and never posted. Awesome.