Day 1

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Upon my arrival here in Haiti, I met Sampson in the airport. He works for Mission of Hope Haiti. Being greeted with a hug and a smile in a strange place spoke volumes. I don’t have words for it yet, but there is already something about this place. 

We waited for another group to arrive before Sampson took us to meet our driver. Jean and Sampson loaded all our bags into an old Toyota Land Cruiser and all 5 of us piled in. The drive to Mission of Hope Campus was about an hour. Driving in Haiti is way different. People are just trying to get to where they need to be. They pass at will and just merge on in. Waving and using the horn to say hey I’m here.  

We spent our day on Campus getting situated and settled in. We didn’t have a translator for the day so we were able to rest from all our traveling. It was nice to spend time getting to know the interns. And finally around 5, Jessica and Tasha arrived! I got to meet these ladies face to face!! I’m so blessed that LuLaRoe brought us together so I could be here with them! More to come! Our real work has yet to begin….

Called to Serve

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About a year ago I came across a post from a fellow LuLaRoe retailer named Jessica. She shared this amazing story of her mission trip to Haiti. I literally sobbed as I looked trough her photos. And it wasn’t because the photos were of heart wrenching starving children or poor, broken people. Jessica was smiling and laughing with the people of Haiti! You could see and feel the love in these photos. The spirit of the people was strong. And I knew in that moment that I had to be there. 

Throughout the last year, Jessica and I have conversed via phone and Facebook. Her excitement for this trip is contagious. She’s shared her stories and it further solidified my decision to go. Many obstacles have popped up over the course of this past year. Times where I questioned my sanity and what in the world I was doing traveling to Haiti. But that feeling has never dissipated. In fact, it’s stronger than ever. 

So today I’m boarding a plane to Port-au-Prince, Haiti where I will serve in my very first Mission Trip. I’ll also meet Jessica for the very first time face to face! I’m excited, nervous, and overwhelmed to say the least. Never have I been so called to do something so far out of my comfort zone. But you know, I have prayed about this for a very long time. I’ve longed for a way to give back. To help others. To grow on all levels. And here it is. 

Something tells me this week is going to do more than that. While I’m the one who’s going to Haiti to serve, to make a difference in the lives of others. I know I’m going to walk away the one changed. And for the better. 

My Big Decision

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Let’s go back a little bit so I can catch you up on what’s happened in these last few years. I went back to work for the State of Maryland after my 8 weeks of leave when I had Jace. I knew at that time I needed more.  I didn’t want to be in an office setting and I knew I wanted to spend as much time with my baby as I could. But I didn’t know what to do. 

We were fortunate enough to have my mother and mother in law watch him which helped immensely. Every parent out there knows the cost of child care is insane and I was not ready to work just to pay for that. Or let some stranger raise our child. That just wasn’t in my plan. 

So I decided to pray. I prayed for guidance. I prayed for a sign. I asked the universe for help, to show me the way. I needed something to help pay the bills and had a flexible schedule. I loved the people I worked with and the job I was doing. I was able to share my story with coworkers who battled cancer or had just been diagnosed.  I watched my story help them have hope through their treatment. I gained friendships through this that I’ll be forever grateful for. But I had come to a point where I just wanted to own my time. I know far too well how precious that time is and I needed to make a change. And quickly. 

I went on working for about a year before I found it. I had kinda stopped looking for it to be honest. But there it was. A friend of mine added me to this group on Facebook called Fancy Pants. I had no idea what it was all about but soon discovered they sold Maxi skirts! I was in love! I live for skirts in the summer and was excited when I found stylish and affordable Maxi skirts! Plus they have a nice way of flattering the mom pooch. 😉 

It wasn’t long before the packages started coming to the house every few days. First skirts. Then these crazy soft leggings, and then dresses. Chris finally stopped and asked “What is all this stuff you keep getting?” I replied comfy clothes that make me feel good! I explained to him how they only sold items on Facebook or at these things called Popup parties. Having worked his own retail business for many years he asked if it seems like a lucrative business. I decided to look into it. 

I scheduled a meeting with a local consultant to discuss what this business entailed. We had so so much in common and really hit it off! I went home that evening and filled out the paperwork! And on October 17, 2015 I became a retailer with LuLaRoe. 

If you’re not familiar with LuLaRoe, the company makes tops, skirts, dresses, coverups/cardigans, leggings and some children’s clothes. The styles range from XXS-3XL in most and there really is something for everyone. Which for me was the selling point. I could still help people by way of making them feel comfortable and beautiful at the same time! 

I had done it! I had finally found the missing piece to our puzzle. And in July of last year I left my full time job to pursue LuLaRoe full time. It’s truly been a blessing for our family. Being able to be home with Jace is amazing. I get to go to his nursery school functions, play dates with our friends, impromptu trips, and I don’t have to worry about how much leave I’m going to use to do it. My time is now mine. We’ve learned to weed out the things in life that we really don’t need and just live comfortably. We’ve also been able to go on trips and vacations that we couldn’t do in the past. Making memories is so important! 

I never thought I would ever leave my state job. However when this opportunity presented itself I knew it was time to take the leap. It was absolutely scary diving into the unknown. All the “What-ifs” hanging in the balance. But that’s no way to live your life. We only have this one. And I for certain don’t want to get to the end and regret all the things I didn’t do. 

So here we are. Living a happy life. We have our struggles too.  Don’t think it’s all sunshine and roses. But those things don’t really matter at the end of the day. And they shouldn’t for you either. Remember to be grateful for all you have. You are blessed. You are here. And you are important. Don’t ever forget that!

Well Hello Stranger

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My oh my whereever has the time gone? 2 1/2 years since my last post. Well I’ll tell you where it went. One extremely amazing, very active now 3 year old little boy!!! He’s a big part for sure. I’ve also been busy with a new business of my own, leaving my full time job with the State of Maryland, renovating and still trying to maintain my sanity!! Hats off to the SAHM’s and WAHM’s out there. You all are my heros and are the real MVP’s!!! As I sit here typing this my wild animal is climbing all over me.  Yes I’ve joined the ranks of all those who hide in the bathroom hoping to catch a moment of peace. And sometimes, even that doesn’t work! However, it was during those rare moments that I realized I was missing something. 

I have a wonderful husband, my health, amazing miracle baby, lovely step daughter, my goofy dog, incredible friends and family, a roof over my head, and a fun exciting new business. My life is complete! Or at least it should be. It took a little searching as to what exactly I was lacking. I mean, I’ve gone through a lot and I am no longer the person I was before Cancer. So I am still adjusting to that. Part of this adjustment requires that I share my story with others. Not to talk about myself. But to let others know they are not alone. Blogging was like journaling for me.  I could get my thoughts out to help myself.  Others could read it and hopefully find something in my rants to help them get through or relate.

And that was it. THIS is what I’ve been missing.  Blogging had been my release. The thing I needed to help quiet the mindless chatter that easily takes over. A way to share the positive and negative realities of my day to day.  So here I am. I’m back. And I have so so much to talk about! Stay tuned…

Blood Work and Mammograms and MRI’s OH MY!!!!

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“Time for your checkup, time for your checkup!” Ok so I’ve been watching way too much Doc McStuffins. Please forgive me. But seriously it’s that time of year when I am so lucky to not only get my semi annual blood work, but it’s also my annual mammo and Breast MRI time. I never really give any of this much thought as I’m always busy doing “mom” stuff these days. That is until the day of the screening. And then, I’m consumed with the screening itself and more importantly, waiting on the results. Luckily I have a fantastic doctor who phones me as soon as my results are in (for the MRI). But first up is the ever wonderful mammogram.

You see I had one a few months back but could only do one side due to my recent delivery and my desire to breast feed my child. In May I stopped breast feeding and pumping, going exclusively to formula. I was very lucky that the transition was easy on my baby. I struggled a bit but held on to the fact that I made it 4 1/2 months with only one milk-producing breast. Pretty awesome if you ask me.

I had to wait a few months for my hormones to normalize before I could have the mammo. Fast forward those few months and boy was I nervous as I sat in the little cubbyhole changing room waiting for the Radiologists to tell me the results. When I heard those words “all clean”, I sighed. Thank you thank you thank you! I knew the MRI was next up but I would sail into that screening on this positive note. (P.S. 3-D mammograms are now available at most imaging centers. If you are young or have dense breast tissue, I would recommend having this done. Unfortunately, there is a cost associated with this. Check with your center. The Breast Center at AAMC charges $50. I believe it is worth it to get a better image.)

My MRI was much like my mammo in the fact that I was totally fine until I walked into the MRI room. For this scan they hook up a little IV to you so they can run a dye through your bloodstream while taking the images. This contrast dye is suppose to attach itself to abnormal areas which “light up” on the imaging screen. Unlike the mammo, you have to wait until your doctor’s office contacts you with the results. So waiting is the name of the game.

As I said before, I’m lucky to have a doctor who calls me immediately with the results. “Everything looks great”! Music to my ears. Another sigh and more thank you’s!!

Last week was my semi-annual appointment with my oncologist. Before every appointment I go to the lab in the basement at the hospital to have my blood drawn. I had emailed her regarding my blood work and asked if she could add my Thyroid and B-12 to the list. I was a couple weeks overdue to have my thyroid checked as my endocrinologist let me stop taking the meds and told me to wait a few weeks then have it tested to see if I could stay off the medicine all together. Rather than getting stuck twice I wanted to see if I could have it all done there and the results sent to my other doctor. My days of being a human pincushion were long gone! As for my B-12, about 3 months ago I made the decision to stop eating meat, dairy and eggs. I really want to elaborate more on this but I want to do it in a post of its own as I have a lot to say on the topic. However the main concern I had was am I getting enough B-12 now that I don’t eat meat.

Results are in and my levels are all perfect! No more thyroid medication! The only thing that came back of concern is that I am Vitamin D deficient. So I have to take a weekly prescribed dose for the next 3 months and then continue with a daily over the counter dose. I also just need to continue my bi-weekly B-12 dose. I take Deva Nutritional sublingual tablets 2500 mcg. She also made it very clear that exercise is extremely important in keeping recurrence at bay.

I was struggling with exercise as I just couldn’t find the time. But I decided I needed to make the commitment to do it given the importance. I have so much to be thankful for and one amazingly handsome little fella to live for. And wouldn’t you know it, right after I made that commitment, my little boy began sleeping through the night. Now I get 8 hours of sleep and am well rested. I have time to get up, work out and get ready for work all before he gets up in the morning! I’ve also added some mediation in the evenings before I go to sleep. It’s been so helpful with clearing my thoughts and focus.

Life is good. I am beyond blessed. I have to stay focused on the positive. I believe that positivity is the key ingredient to a long happy future. Add in a healthy diet, exercise, rest, friends, family, hope and love and you’ve got yourself a recipe for success!!!

Link

About a month and a half ago I received a call from a young professional at Capital Style Magazine. Elisha Sauers informed me that she had come across my blog and found my story interesting and inspiring. She asked if I would be willing to do an interview with her for an article in the October issue of Capital Style. I quickly told her that I had done an interview with the Capital Newspaper last year around this time and didn’t want to beat a dead horse. She let me know that she was aware of the previous article. However she was interested in sharing the whole story much like my blog, and bringing it full story to our son. I agreed and we made the necessary arrangements and set up a time for the interview.

I was nervous and afraid because I don’t want to come across as someone searching for attention. I’ve never hunted out the media. After all, people have heard my story. And is anyone really listening anymore anyway??? Well, I guess they are. Which in a way makes me really happy. All I’ve ever wanted was to tell my story, reach people who may be going through the same situation or have a family member going through it, and make a difference in how they get through it. The fact that I might actually inspire someone was not a thought. But it turns out that’s what has happened and it is truly humbling.

Check out the link below to read the full article. I was very pleased with the outcome. Thank you to Elisha Sauers for thinking of me. I hope my story continues to reach people and help those who find themselves lost in either of the situations I’ve gone through.

http://www.capitalgazette.com/capital_style/ph-ac-capstyle-amber-blose-1019-20141019,0,319549.story?page=1

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Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That….

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I think these words ring true for all new moms. I’ve been struggling with finding the balance of working full-time, building a real estate career part-time, being a friend, wife and mother. And sometimes I get to the end of the day and I couldn’t begin to tell you if I ate, let alone showered. Judging by the formula stains on my shirt, I’m gonna say I didn’t. And I damn sure haven’t had a moment to keep up with this blog!! I have so many things to share that have happened over the last few months too.

My sweet baby boy is truly amazing. And watching him grow and develop and learn new things is amazing. His personality is really starting to shine and we definitely have a little comedian on our hands! I think I’m finally starting to adjust and accept the fact that I am and will be a working mom. It’s just what has to be. But coming home at the end of my work day to the biggest smiles makes it all worth while.

I’ve had a follow up mammogram (which I’m still convinced a man invented that machine) and my results were great. Anne Arundel Medical Center has this new 3D Breast imaging which is great for women who have dense Breast tissue. It’s not, at this time, covered under insurance. So there is a $50 charge for the imaging. But it is suppose to give the doctors a much better picture of the Breast without adding much more radiation then a traditional mammo. I feel like this is something that needs to be addressed and will continue to look into it and find what needs to be done to get insurance to cover this imaging, if nothing else, at least for at risk and post diagnosis follow ups. Let the crusade begin!!!!!

It’s a short little catch up entry. But I’ve got to run. Baby is calling “ma ma ma ma” as I type this! Lol

Stay tuned!!! Exciting news coming on October 19th!!! Can’t wait to share!! Hopefully I will be back sooner!

Well Hello There……

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Oh my Oh my. I can’t believe it’s been 8 months since my last blog entry. I’ve made a promise to myself to get back to posting. I know it is my one release that I actually enjoy. And lets face it, everyone needs a stress reliever in their life, right???

I’ll try not to make this too long but lets play catch up, shall we??? Last post I was in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy. A pregnancy that came on the heels of my cancer treatment. Well naturally our son came on our very first snowstorm of the year in January. However, we were safe and sound in the hospital, completely oblivious to the world outside. Our little guy is perfect in every way. We are truly blessed with an amazing child. Everyday is a new adventure watching him grow. And believe it or not, he just turned 6 months old this week. My how time really flies!!

Last Friday I saw my oncologist for my quarterly check in. All of my blood work came back fantastic!!! Next week I will have my first Mammo since finding out I was prego last year. Of course I’m not looking forward to being squished and pressed like a Belgian waffle, but hey, its what I get to look forward to for quite some time.

I’ve definitely been struggling with the “What ifs” of cancer and reoccurrence. Especially now that I have this little miracle to look at everyday. I’m sure these feeling are totally normal but some days they really take over my brain. I also struggle with just being back to work. After all the struggle and fight we’ve endured over the last 3 years, now I have to leave my baby for work each day. I am definitely jealous of my stay at home mommy friends. I know it is one tough job they have. Sometimes I just wish I had more time with my little man. He’s already growing too fast. So all I can do is make the most out of my time with him and hope one day he knows that if I could, I would spend every second of everyday with him.

Hello Third Trimester!!!!

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It’s almost Thanksgiving and here I am once again with a long overdue update. I should start by saying back in July I transferred to a new position at work. This has brought on more responsibility and less time to attend to my blog. But life is going great and our pregnancy is coming along beautifully! I’m now 29 weeks 2 days along and everything has been progressing in a normal fashion. We’ve now established that my actual due date is February 8th however due to the nature of my previous csection, baby boy will be delivered on January 21st, putting me at 37 weeks 3 days. Which gives us about 8 weeks! Just can’t believe it!

The nursery is almost complete. The walls are painted and ready for my dear friend Sarah N. to come and put her special touch on them. Once that is finished Chris has lots of furniture to put together! We were blessed to receive many gifts from family and friends for our little guy, leaving us only a couple items to purchase ourselves. This was truly a relief. We are so grateful that our baby is loved by so many.

For now we just continue with our regular doctors appointments which are now every two weeks. I am still seeing the high risk doctor just on a less frequent basis. I actually have appointments with both of them tomorrow so I’m looking forward to seeing how he’s growing and developing.

On another note, I’m also looking forward to hosting Thanksgiving Dinner this week at our home for the first time! I think it is pretty appropriate since we have so much to be thankful for. I’m a little nervous as I know I have big shoes to try and fill to make everything as delicious as my Gran has always done. But I hope she can just sit back and relax this year.

Here’s to a Happy Thanksgiving for each and every one of you! Blessings to all!!

Only 2 Days Away!!!!!!

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This Sunday October 20th, I will be participating in my first Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure since my diagnosis. I am very excited to be doing this as a survivor and joining so many others in this wonderful event. Please consider joining me or helping our team reach our goal by making a donation. Every little bit helps, no donation is too small. Use the link below to check out our team page Team Surviveber!

http://www.komenmd.org/2013/surviveber