Labs, Oncologist, Chemo. That’s the order of appointments on treatment day. That’s all I really knew walking in today. Was anxious and a bit freaked out knowing I was about to be administered a bunch of meds I’ve never taken before. It’s a bit unsettling when you have no idea how it is going to effect you. All you have to go off is the laundry list of side effects to stare at wondering which 2 or 10 you might experience. So the build up can send you for a loop.

Ativan was the first premed they gave in my IV. That took the edge off! Then there were 3 different anti-nausea meds that took about 15-20 minutes each. All of this was pretty easy. Then came the old Red Devil.

Two big syringes full of the lovely Adriamycin. The nurse has to push the medicine into my IV over 15 minutes along with a bag of IV fluid. They also periodically pull back a bit to make sure there is blood so they know the IV is in the vein because if not, that could cause serious problems.

After the Red Devil is complete, here comes a bag of cytoxin. This is the final drug of the day and takes an hour. I enjoyed some words with friends, caught up on text messages and emails and then got ready to go home. All in all, the actual treatment day isn’t too bad.

Got home at 4 and relaxed on the couch. Which is where I have been since. Ate a couple small snacks and I have managed to drink 64 oz of water today! Go me! About 2 hours ago I started to get a little nauseated so I took 1 compazine pill and I feel much better. Time for me to eat again and then get some shut-eye.

I would like to thank everyone for all of the messages, emails, calls, cards, posts, of love, support, prayers and positive energy that I received throughout the day! You all carried me through and I am so grateful for each and every one of you! 1 down 7 to go! Xoxoxo

Last night Chris and I went to my parents house as my sister-in-law Heather and our nephew James had just come up from North Carolina. I really wanted to see them in case I don’t feel well over the next few days. Shortly after arriving and getting lots of hugs and listening to all his funny sayings and stories, James decided it was time for my birthday present. We were actually washing our hands because I had just explained to him how important it is to get rid of the germs and how it helps keep Aunt Ber from getting sick and him too.

So while washing our hands I told him to sing happy birthday twice and that’s how long it takes to make the germs go away. He said it’s not my birthday and then said something else really fast which I didn’t understand and ran out of the bathroom. When I came back to the kitchen he was grinning from ear to ear and had a present for me all wrapped up. “But it isn’t my birthday yet” I said. James said open it. So I did. Watching the excitement on his face was priceless. I unwrapped the present to find James’ original daddy doll. He recently got a new larger one and thought “I will give this to aunt Ber and it will make her happy and she will give me a hug” My God I love this little boy.

For those that don’t know what a daddy doll is let me tell you. When Justin was deployed to Iraq and James was just an infant heather had this stuffed doll made with Justin’s full picture on it. He carries it with him everywhere. So while Justin has been in Afghanistan Heather had a new one made for him. So now I have my little brother with me to make me happy and give me strength. The power of a child’s love is amazing. One day I’ll explain to him just how incredible is moment was for me. I have the best Godson/nephew ever.

I’m sure the nurses will love when I walk in for chemo with my turtle, my dog, and my brother doll! Speaking of which, I gotta go eat! Hospital bound in 30 minutes!

Just received a phone call from the Genetic Counselor. My blood test results came back and I tested negative for the BRCA1 & BRCA2 gene mutation! It’s great news to know that it doesn’t appear to be hereditary. They did tell me to keep in contact with my doctors in the future to see if any new genetic tests become available. There is always a possibility that it could be something they haven’t discovered or are able to test for yet. So the down side of being BRCA1 & BRCA2 negative is that there are still no answers as to why I developed breast cancer. It could very well be they will never know. It could also be environmental. Which is what I suspected in the beginning mostly because I don’t really have a family history that would indicate cancer. Maybe it’s time for a serious look at what exactly I am eating. It sure can’t hurt to eat healthier!

My Support Sisters, are my go to girls. They have been with me in full support from the word Cancer, making this chapter in my life a bit more bearable. Each of them is special to me for what they bring to our friendship. Some of them I have known my whole life, others more recently but each of them is amazing. They got together to make sure wig shopping wasn’t overwhelming for me and also decided that going out with all of us sporting wigs would be a riot. With my wig now purchased it was time to hit the town. We had dinner at Joss on Main street in Annapolis where we were probably an interesting site to see. I recall someone asking what the big occasion was and one of the girls responded, Our girl was diagnosed with breast cancer so we are celebrating her fight.  I know that one must have thrown him for a loop.  Who in their right mind celebrate’s breast cancer???  Oh these crazies do!!! lol

Some of the girls had some wild hair colors and a few others were just outrageous styles. It was nothing short of fun to be able to laugh with these lovely ladies and watch as new friendships were made between some girls who had just met for the first time. I realized in that moment at dinner how incredible it is to be me! I know I said it before in a previous post but I’ll say it again. THANK YOU CANCER!!!! Thank you for coming into my life. I know that sounds crazy but it is the truth. I know these friendships I have are important but without cancer, I most likely would have continued through life not realizing just how great friendships are. It’s silly really. You nurture the relationship with your significant other, but we always expect our friends to always be there. And for the most part they will be. But if we make those extra efforts to see our friends a little more or let those who are important to us know just how important they are, you could really watch a friendship bloom on so many other levels. Even after the loss of my son, I thought I got it. I realized just how precious life was and knew then that I needed to try harder to see the people I love more often. Somehow you slowly get back into your routine and before you know it, you haven’t changed at all. I watched this documentary on Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens and in it he was talking about his life during the time when he was in jail accused of murder and how it changed his life. He had money, fame, fortune but he was missing something. The night that he was arrested and laying there in a cell he said he heard God say to him, “Can You Hear Me Now?” And that’s when he knew he had to take these things he had been blessed with and give back and help others. I feel like someone has been trying to show me the things that truly matter but I just haven’t been really listening. Well, I hear you know, I promise! So many things in life are trivial and they are not what truly matter. But friends and family, THAT’S what matters. At the end of the day, those are the people who will love you no matter what. And I am blessed with amazing girlfriends, brothers from other mothers, and Family. Thank you a thousand times to my “Support Sisters” for a lovely evening out on the town! For the girls that couldn’t be there, I know you where in spirit!